Birth Story: John Fox
With this pregnancy we wanted to do things differently— the Lord laid it on my heart to have our newest little one at home. I was not entirely unhappy with the care I received during my previous pregnancies, but it didn’t feel right to walk back into the hospital again.
So I contacted a midwife that several of my friends had delivered with and we immediately knew she was the one we wanted to have our home birth with— Jill Snelson. The differences between OB’s and home birth midwives are too many to name, but the level of care was so much more personal. From the very first appointment she’d spend an hour or longer with us each time we saw her. I could text her anytime and never felt like an inconvenience, and she took my concerns seriously. My kids were always excited to go to her office and play while we did the appointments, and it was sweet including them. My husband, Tyler was also able to come to many of the evening appointments and got to participate more than he had been able to in the past. It was wonderful going through this process as a family. I’m thankful for those differences because this was my most difficult pregnancy. The heat of summer, lack of appetite, stress from building a house and trying to keep up with my other boys was a lot. She made sure I was fully supported through all of it.
During the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy I labored on and off. There were many times I texted Jill that my contractions would start and later that they’d stop. I hit a point of exhaustion and frustration by the 41 week appointment, and she and my doula, Maddie made a point to help me work through the mental blocks that were getting in the way of natural labor starting. After a few more days and a better mindset, my body really started preparing for labor. Being 10 days past my due date with a massive hurricane rolling in, my birth team came over to spend the day/night with me. We laughed, relaxed, snacked, and did body work to help position baby boy. I went into active labor the next morning— the morning hurricane Helene hit.
At 5 am on September 27th, I felt a massive contraction. I remember praying, “please Lord, let this be the real thing.” Right after another one hit and I felt my water break. My husband quickly got me to the bathroom and woke the midwives and my doula up. Jill confirmed my water broke and Shoshanah got the IV antibiotics going to treat my GBS. The contractions kept coming and intensified gradually.
During the labor, I was able move or relax in positions that were most comfortable. I laid in bed, sat in a chair/toilet, and walked around until I couldn’t move any longer and resigned to the birthing pool. The midwives moved with me and used a handheld doppler to monitor baby boy throughout my labor. Maddie did hip squeezes to help relieve the pain and made sure I had a comb to grip during the contractions. Tyler helped me to cope by bringing cool rags and holding my hand. I remember reaching the point where I didn’t want to be talked to or touched, but felt comfort being able to see him and simply know he was there with me. They both encouraged me between contractions and made sure I had the Christian Hypnobirthing tracks playing in the background to help me breathe and stay calm. Between contractions my body was able to totally relax, so much that my husband said he thought I was sleeping. At that point I was deep in labor land and prayed/meditated. I knew the Lord was with me and would carry me through the intensity. Eve came to my mind and I imagined what she must have felt being the first woman to do this, and without a midwife to help at that— it gave me the gratitude I needed to keep going. I labored in the pool until my body decided it was time to push, and Jill and Shoshanah quietly let me realize that my body was ready on my own. It was an overwhelming feeling, but they were able to communicate to me through my initial fear and help redirect the energy I had into pushing him out. He got stuck on his way out but the midwives were on top of it and able to quickly maneuver him as I pushed.
After a 5 hour labor and 10 minutes of pushing, I had my third little boy at home. John Fox Merritt, 9 lbs 1 oz and 21.5” long, born at 10:22 am. Baby boy needed some help for the first cry but was stirred up and put on my chest for the first time. The placenta was delivered almost immediately after he was born with no issues. Tyler held us both while they helped me and John get settled and evaluated.
The next few hours we focused on resting, nursing, and getting to know our sweet son. He was attached to the placenta for 235 minutes so he got all the blood, oxygen, and nutrients possible. My midwives worked around mine and baby John’s needs and let us have those bonding moments that I’ve never experienced in a hospital before. It was so relaxing being able to do this in the comfort of my home.
Our boy did very well several hours after the delivery before he started to struggle to breathe. Jill and Shoshanah recommended we transfer to NICU for higher level of care to figure out what was going on, which of course was scary but something we had experienced with my first son. Jill stayed with him on the ambulance while we followed in our vehicle, and she made sure the hospital had all of his charts upon transferring. My midwives and Maddie remained with us while we sat in the waiting room, making sure we were ok given the stress of the situation.
Our little guy was never diagnosed with anything during his NICU stay— no infection, normal x-rays, etc. We were told that his lungs simply needed extra help after being born. Unsurprisingly, there was judgement from the doctors, “if you had delivered here maybe it wouldn’t have been like this.” But I know in my heart that no doctor or midwife in that hospital could have supported me the way my midwives did, nor was it anyone’s fault. But our story was a testimony to the NICU nurses who admired the detailed charts and medical approach Jill and Shoshanah took towards our care. They saw how strong and healthy John was otherwise. How quickly he started picking his head up to watch me or how fast he learned to nurse after being on a feeding tube because of the CPAP. Some of the nurses wanted Jill’s information so they could refer friends and family to someone they would feel safe delivering with, though they had never even met. John stayed at the hospital for 9 days before being discharged.
Even though my labor and delivery didn’t go exactly the way I imagined with the NICU stay, I can honestly say I wouldn’t have changed a thing. That’s just birth. It rarely goes to plan, but the Lord knew how things would be and I have peace in it. Jill wore a shirt during my labor that said, “birth is tough, but so are you” and it stayed with me through it all. This delivery and postpartum period has been very healing for me and my family, and I’m so thankful to be held by these wonderful midwives.